http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NXS50YLzmUc
Here is how I feel about graduating...and it's not Chopan's Funeral March.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
My Last Blog
It's hard to sum up this semester. I really have no idea how to recap my college career. I could always give the facts, but I'm not sure how to put an enlightening twist to them. I suppose...I will just start with the facts, since that's all I know. I started college in Moorehead Minnesota. I always wanted to come to MSU, but I received a soccer scholarship there and not here. One reason for that is that we don't even have a soccer team. I spent a year in Minnesota and the first semester I really like it. I made some great friends on the soccer team and had a great dorm roommate. My studies were mostly on Biology. I thought that is what I wanted to do. My second semester was when my life became confusing. I'm not sure if it was because I made new friends in my dorm, or I broke my arm snowboarding, but the girls I had meant on the soccer team weren't exactly friendly anymore. My studies weren't going well either. I was getting great grades, in fact I had a 3.8 GPA. The problem was that I was practicing soccer twice a day, then go to work from 4 to 9, and I still was passing my classes with exceptional marks. I decided that I didn't want a degree without an education. I also decided that I didn't care for soccer as much as I used to. I wanted more than just an easy for years that in my future I would look back on and think of "the good times." I chose to come to Bozeman for my sophomore year of college. I thought that here I could get a degree as well as learn a few things (like snowboarding and biking) that I could take with me for the rest of my life (or until my knees give out).
My second year of school was not exactly school. I only took 2 classes in the Fall and one in Spring semester because I was trying to get residency. I worked full time at Wells Fargo. It was awful, I've never been so unhappy in my life. I think it was because I was having to do math everyday. Well, that and I hadn't made many friends, yet. That winter I took up snowboarding and realized that I had made the right decision to move to Bozeman. I have the tendency to get bored easily and I knew that to get a degree in less than a decade I had to find a place that would keep me entertained.
My third and forth year of school I really enjoyed. I, first off, quite Wells Fargo and got a job selling clothing at Shoefly, as well as serving at Riverside Country Club. These were much happier jobs for me, and I ended up meeting some great friends. My studies were challenging and enlightening. I felt that I was truely learning how to be a better writer and text analysis. My favorite class was definitely Dr. Thomas's American Literature. She had a way of getting excited about the stories we read that made the whole class replicate her energy. There was one class where she reenacted an early American play. She jumped up on a stool and recited the lines of one of the more dramatic characters. I thought that if she could get so pumped about a play that she has probably read a million times then I need to see what she saw. It was also in my third year that I had 2 class, in the same semester, with Dr. Morgan. They were like two opposite people. One was understanding and a good influence, the other told me that I shouldn't be an English major. This statement really had an affect on my confidence. It wasn't until I meant a student, a very smart student, who was a senior. He told me that Dr. Morgan had said the same thing to him, as well as hundreds of other students. Hearing this showed me that there are obstacles in life and people you will meet that you have to overcome. I wasn't going to alter my education, an education that I greatly enjoyed, because someone told me I should. Anyways, on to my senior year.
My senior semester, this is where the tale gets tough. This semester I have learned more about life and at the same time became extremely confused. I have started recognizing the times throughout my daily routine in which I go back to where I started. Such as, the other morning I got out of bed and was looking for my sweatpants. I checked the dresser, the closet, the laundry basket. Low and behold, they were under my pillow on my bed. Simple acts such as this, remind me of all the things I've learned this semester. I think I will tell one last story that has the possibility of summing up my senior year and then this blog will be Katamshud.
Just this last Tuesday my boyfriend, whom I've been dating for quite awhile, left to go to Europe for a few months. I decided that before he left we had to go on one last trip. There wasn't much we could do in one weekend. We didn't have time to drive that far or money to fly, so we went to Yellowstone. We stayed the night in West Yellowstone and then drove into the park in the morning. Now, we've all probably been to Yellowstone at least a dozen times, but it was important for me to revisit it. I thought that by going back I would better understand the things I missed the first, or second, or fifth time. The ordinary act of driving through Yellowstone started to have more meaning. I think it was because Cam was leaving that I felt the need to focus more on the time we spent together. This caused me to start living in the present. I needed a fixed time in order to live in the moment, otherwise I would have spent my day like any other. The trip through Yellowstone was a sort of playing field where I got to practice all the lessons of T.S. Eliot. I realized that Eliot's Four Quartets, as well as all the other novels we've read this semester, are connected to our everyday actions. This semester was about advancing our lives. Just like the presentation that our group performed today, we are all graduating to a new a different life. This semester will help us with the transition into our new life. T.S. Eliot talks of exploration and I think that, being seniors, we need to grasp the concept of exploring. Our life has the ability to flourish with our degree. Most of us will move away from Bozeman and, in doing so, take on a new lives and new experiences. To the graduating seniors, I say, we will always have Capstone with Sexson.
Just for the record, I don't care for this truthful story of mine. My fiction beats the hell out of my truth.
Monday, April 26, 2010
Beethoven and Epiphanies
This semester, my last semester, I had to take an art credit. It was for my core classes and I had put off taking it until the last possible semester. I, actually, wanted to take ceramics. I loved the class in high school and, if I must say so for myself, I made some good pieces. (I even made a teapot shaped like a pyramid and put a vine with flowers around it). Anyways, it was nice. When the day came to choose my classes, I felt that ceramics would take up too much time (from snowboarding). I decided, instead, to take Music 101. I thought, "this will be a piece of egg sandwich." I had heard the teacher was easy, his last name was Funk for goodness sakes, and it would be about rock and roll. All that fun stuff. But....like any story worth hearing, things did not go like I planned. The teacher was not easy (it was not Dr. Funk), and it was on classical music. Now, I'm not much for the classics, music that is. I really just don't know much about it. It was more a case of ignorance and less of stupidity. This class, however, has taught me a lot about the appreciating music than it did the details. I still don't know much about classical music. Whether it's ABA form or ABBA, I'm not too sure. I mainly took from the class only that which related to epiphanies.
I find that music and epiphanies counter exist copacetically. This was first mentioned when we read Wind in the Willows. The flute of pan attracts Rat and Mole to their epiphany. The divine presence that the two animals encountered was accompanied by music. Music, I believe, has the ability to be perfect. Music is less flawed and limited. The Wind in the Willows epiphany then took me directly to the early writings of Greek mythology. It is a popular event in mythology for Kings to have musicians playing at their banquets. The good musicians were compared to Pan. Music became a common denominator for the gods and humans. It created a connection between the two worlds, a staircase to Olympus. This reinforced my thought that music, unlike words, can perfected. All words, when trying to describe an epiphany, seem dull or used. I think it's music that best expresses an epiphany. This is one reason Rat and Mole meet Pan and not another Greek god.
E.Y. Harburg says, "Words make you think a thought. Music makes you feel a feeling. A song makes you feel a thought.” I think this is one more reason why music and epiphanies are linked. Music has the ability of creating thoughts as well as feelings. Words may have the same power, but words, unlike music, are directed. Classical music, music without lyrics, does not have the ability to direct or decipher. The listener is left to their own thoughts. Emotions felt by music are more genuine. The listener isn't persuaded or distracted by the thoughts of others. The thoughts and feelings one has while listening to a piece of music is unique.
This is my reason for putting this link below. It takes you to Beethoven's 9th Symphony. His last symphony.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1saWiYWflQc&feature=PlayList&p=96A21C2CF53DE5C6&playnext_from=PL&playnext=1&index=3
I find that music and epiphanies counter exist copacetically. This was first mentioned when we read Wind in the Willows. The flute of pan attracts Rat and Mole to their epiphany. The divine presence that the two animals encountered was accompanied by music. Music, I believe, has the ability to be perfect. Music is less flawed and limited. The Wind in the Willows epiphany then took me directly to the early writings of Greek mythology. It is a popular event in mythology for Kings to have musicians playing at their banquets. The good musicians were compared to Pan. Music became a common denominator for the gods and humans. It created a connection between the two worlds, a staircase to Olympus. This reinforced my thought that music, unlike words, can perfected. All words, when trying to describe an epiphany, seem dull or used. I think it's music that best expresses an epiphany. This is one reason Rat and Mole meet Pan and not another Greek god.
E.Y. Harburg says, "Words make you think a thought. Music makes you feel a feeling. A song makes you feel a thought.” I think this is one more reason why music and epiphanies are linked. Music has the ability of creating thoughts as well as feelings. Words may have the same power, but words, unlike music, are directed. Classical music, music without lyrics, does not have the ability to direct or decipher. The listener is left to their own thoughts. Emotions felt by music are more genuine. The listener isn't persuaded or distracted by the thoughts of others. The thoughts and feelings one has while listening to a piece of music is unique.
This is my reason for putting this link below. It takes you to Beethoven's 9th Symphony. His last symphony.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1saWiYWflQc&feature=PlayList&p=96A21C2CF53DE5C6&playnext_from=PL&playnext=1&index=3
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
An Experience In Time: My Paper
An Experience In Time
“If it be now, 'tis not to come; if it be not to come, it will be now; if it be not now, yet it will come: the readiness is all.” (Hamlet Act V, Scene ii)
Hamlet’s statement passes through so many realms of consciousness that they are impossible to recognize all at once. Hamlet is referring to the concept of time. In order to take on the difficult task of comprehending time one must first take the even more extraordinary task of breaking down time. Time is seen in three forms: time future, time present, and time past. Breaking down these forms individually will help in the understanding of such a fanatical concept. Hopefully, in my contemplation of time I will gain an experience in time.
Time Future:
Time in the future at its most basic element is the symbol of a calendar. It is a tool of measurement that we use to plan our schedule and our activities. Even in its simplicity, time controls our most mundane actions. Every morning we wake to an alarm clock that tells us it’s time to get up and start our day’s activities, which we have planned in advance. Each decision that is made is made with the consideration of time. The act of planning is symbolized in time. This, then, is time future.
The idea of the future is directly connected with time. We decide our work schedule based on our future plans. The process of planning is the process of controlling our time. What is the future if it is not a measurement of time? Simply put, our future is our growing older. When Krishna, in The Bhagavad-Gita says, “I am time grown old,” he is explaining his divinity (pg 103). Krishna’s statement is confusing because of our inability to see time as being old or young or middle aged. Krishna is making a correlation between time and the process of growing old, which is usually thought to be the same thing. By giving himself the name of time, Krishna is showing a control over all things, including aging. Time is consistently placed with the concept of aging. There’s this idea that every second and every minute we grow closer to death. This idea shows the direct correlation between our future and time’s ability to continually progress. This progression gives reasoning to a future. If time did not exist we would not worry about tomorrow.
Take the example of the divine. Krishna tells Arjuna, “even without you, all these warriors arrayed in hostile ranks will cease to exist….They are already killed by me” (Bhagavad-Gita pg 103). To Krishna, time means nothing. The idea of time is useless because it is controlled by him. Even when Arjuna sees ranks of men standing in front of him, Krishna is telling him to realize that they have already died. Arjuna has trouble understanding Krishna’s lesson because of his humanity. Time and its ability to control the future will always be considered by people because we are not the divine and we do not control time’s progression.
Time allows us to appreciate the process of aging. Birthdays celebrate the annual development in our lives each year. There are many things which are brought by the progression of time. There is wisdom, the need for us to learn from our mistakes. Without time’s constant hover, we wouldn’t need to learn or strive to be better. It’s the knowledge that we have a set amount of time to live that makes us correct ourselves and attempt perfection.
There is always that subconscious presence of time future. This is what gives time all its power. Time future is a threat to humanity because of its unpredictability. We are taught to believe that we cannot control time and therefore we willingly make ourselves prisoners to its demands. Hamlet’s phrase, “the readiness is all,” has many different levels of meaning (Hamlet Act V Scene ii). One interpretation is that Hamlet must be ready for the future’s volatility. By not letting the future catch us unaware, we have the ability to, not defeat, but counter time’s fickleness. Hamlet, during this quote, is stuck in a moment of decision. He is deciding if he should fear what is to come, wait in suspense, or make ready? Hamlet’s statement shows that he will prepare for every moment, which allows him to make direction in his future. Hamlet doesn’t give time future the advantage of being unpredictable. This idea leads to time future’s greatest question, a question that must be answered in order to understand time future. Is our future already designed?
“Time destroyer is time the preserver” (T.S. Eliot Four Quartets pg 40). T.S. Eliot gives time many names throughout the Four Quartets. By calling time a preserver, Eliot is giving time the ability to keep something safe. Therefore, the question is, what is time preserving? Eliot’s statement can mean a plethora of thing. Depending on the context, time can be seen as a preserver of the future. Eliot then gives time future another attribution to its many qualities. The future must be looked at differently in order to see it as a preserver. Normally, we see time as being, as mentioned earlier, unpredictable. It’s unpredictable in the sense that we will never know the contents of tomorrow. However, this is not to say that time is not fully unknown. If time is preserving our future, then there are things there to preserve. In which case, our future has already been planned and is waiting for us. Krishna’s statement of, “they are already killed by me,” gives the same concept. Time future exists in a realm of preservation, all is already known. To fully understand time future, we must think of it, not with questions, but with statements (Such as, I am writing my paper and I will get an A). Time future should still exist in our mind as a dark room, but we must fill this room with objects and images of intangible achievements we will obtain. We will know that these objects exist and are present in our dark room even if they cannot be seen.
Time Past
Time as it’s presented in our past should be symbolized as an infinity of things. Every memory we hold, every time we think on a day or a decision, we are envisioning time past. Our memories, therefore, act as images of time past. Time past has the power of being forever present. Our past is used in the actions we make in the present, which will therefore affect our future. Time past must be viewed entirely separate from time future in order to be understood. Our past can never be changed or altered. It is in our memories. We use time past as we use a favorite book. It is there to enjoy in contemplation and it is there to use as a referance. Time past, therefore holds a power over us, not in a way of anxiety, such as time future, but in the way of doubt.
Time past is a ghost. It is a transparent curtain which can never be breached. Our past is constantly time present fading out of our lives forever. Time past is a ghost because it constantly haunts the decisions we make. Time past is all of our memories entwined into one ghostly form which hovers over our shoulder, always ready to interfere. Shakespeare represents time past as Hamlet’s father. “Adieu, adieu! Hamlet, remember me,” the Ghost says to Hamlet (Hamlet Act 1 Scene v). Hamlet responds with:
“Remember thee!
Ay poor ghost, while memory holds seat
In this distracted globe. Remember thee!
Yea, from the table of my memory
I’ll wipe away all trivial fond records” (Hamlet Act 1 Scene v)
Hamlet’s father only asked that his son remember him. This allows Hamlet’s father, a ghost, to forever remain present with Hamlet in the form of a different ghost. By placing himself in Hamlet’s memory, Hamlet will relentlessly be reminded of his father’s words. The power of time past is that it can never be forgotten. Just as the Ghost intended, Hamlet’s present decisions and actions will be based on the past recollection of the memory of his father.
Time past also needs to be recognized as purely subjective. Our memories should never be thought of as facts. The recollection of past events is only how we viewed those events. They can never be replicated. Eliot says,
“This is the use of memory:
For liberation-not less of love but expanding
Of love beyond desire, and so liberation
From the future as well as the past.” (Four Quartets pg 55).
Eliot refers to our memories freeing us from the weight of the future and past, thus saying that our memories and our past are two separate entities. Our past refers to what actually happened to us, our memory is only our perspective on what happened. Once the time we have in the present ceases to exist we store that subjective time period in our memory. These memories are brought to our initial thought whenever there is a similar recurrence. The clearer and less distorted we keep our memories the easier our present decision can become. The difficulty is how we keep those memories as close to truth as possible.
Doubt is the power that time past possesses; doubt is what encompasses our decisions. Every memory, because of its distortion is filled with doubt. Without memory’s falsities we would be left with absolute truth and in truth there cannot be uncertainty. Therefore, our past, not our memory, has the ability to provide us with every right answer and every right direction in our life. It’s the little distortions in our memory that cause our doubt. It’s when we don’t understand the past that we have trouble making the right decisions.
There’s a point in life that we come upon where we should realize that we have experienced everything. Our daily decisions start to become the same question only asked a different way. However, these decisions still take effort and contemplation, although we have already encountered them. We live in a process of reoccurrence. The questions we ask ourselves on a daily basis are the same questions we have asked a thousand times. Why, then, are they still considered questions? If we had the ability to understand our past in its pure essence, then we wouldn’t have any questions. Our lives would not only be simple, but monotonous. We still struggle to answer the same everyday questions because of doubt. I say that time past’s power is in doubt, but it should be understood that the past, itself, cannot control us. Only the past as we know in our memories can have an effect on our present decisions and, therefore, can create doubt in our lives.
Time Present
The basic representation of time present is a clock. The watch, the cell phone, and the clock on the wall we watch everyday to see just what time it is. Time present should also be referred to as the only time. It is the only time that actual events take place. It is in time present that we should place all of ourselves, “all is always now” (Eliot Four Quartets pg 19). However significant it may seem or imperative it may be, the now is forgotten. Time past and time future have overcome time present. We live in a continuous state of doubt and anxiety. We must be reminded to live in the present in order to deprive time of its power.
In The Bhagavad-Gita, Krishna repeats the importance of detachment to Arjuna. In every lesson to Arjuna, Krishna explains the need to become detached and disciplined, “He is said to be matured in discipline when he has renounced all intention and is detached” (Krishna pg 65). Krishna wants Arjuna to separate himself from the world in order to achieve purification. One form of detachment would be from the influence of time. The anxiety and doubt caused by time can be extinguished by separating ourselves from their control. It is impossible to reside in the present state of being while struggling with the pull from the future and past. This is the reason for Krishna’s lesson on discipline, as well as repetition. Even though we cannot entirely forget time future and time past, we should become disciplined to deny their influence. We should not allow them to take away the enjoyment of time present. It is about disciplining ourselves and reminding ourselves of the importance of time present.
Krishna talks of complete detachment; however, in the essence of time, I disagree. We should not entirely separate ourselves from time past and time future. There is a level of detachment that one must achieve in order to focus more clearly on time present, but we should not completely disregard the time which surrounds us. Eliot says, “Only through time time is conquered (Four Quartets pg 16). Eliot is referring to the importance of time present. By living through the now, we become slightly detached from past and present. It is impossible to become completely detached because we live in the decisions of our past and the goals of our future. We need our past and future, we just don’t need them to dominate our thoughts. Through time we can discipline ourselves to evade time’s influence.
Again, it is the importance of discipline which we must place our attention. We cannot simply conquer time by focusing only on the present. There are imperfections we must fix in the way we view our past and future.
If we recognize the anxiety that time future can cause, then we should work to achieve a less anxious life. When Hamlet says, “the readiness is all,” he is announcing the remedy for defeating time future (Hamlet Act V Scene ii). Hamlet, before he has his epiphany, is worried of what time future will bring, “If it be now, tis not to come; if it be not to come, it will be now” (Hamlet Act V Scene ii). He realized that by being prepared for the future he can reduce his anxiety. It is impossible to simply live in the present because the past and future will constantly interfere. We must discipline our past and future.
The way to disciplining the future is to always be ready. This will reduce the anxiety our future can bring us in our present. Being prepared, while living in the present, will reduce our future’s influence. Thus, readiness will make it more possible to live in the now.
Now, for the past. Our only knowledge of the past is in our memories. Our memories are imperfect and this causes doubt in our present state. Reducing the influence of time past is difficult because we can never be certain in our memories. However, it is in our best interest to try. We know that our past gives us every answer; it is our job to correctly remember, “and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive were we started and know the place for the first time” (Four Quartets, pg 57). Eliot’s words suggest that we can only know a place if we return to it. It’s in our inability to remember that causes us to revisit parts of our lives. In order to perfect our memory we must take away all judgment. It is judgment that hinders our ability to remember clearly. Disciplining ourselves to view things with a transparent lens will help in our ability to live in the present.
Time present might be the most essential of times, but it’s the most difficult to attain. One must defeat both time past and time future in order to conquer time present. Eliot says, “Quick now, here, now, always—A condition of complete simplicity” (Four Quartets pg 57). He is making a satirical statement that, to always live in the now is simple; saying that, it’s a condition of life that’s easy to accomplish. He then adds, “(Costing not less than everything),” showing the realistic price of living in the present (Four Quartets pg 57). In order to completely conquer time we must give up everything, our life as we know it.
An experience in time, not only takes time, but is truly a condition of complete frustration. Living in the present, while being ready for the future and not judging the past, is difficult. Gaining the experience of time means we must completely, entirely, and utterly conquer time. The understanding will only come when we finally learn to live wholly in the present. We will reach “the still point of the turning world” at the moment we have our experience (Eliot Four Quartets pg 15). There is no assurance of when our experience might be. It might have already happened and we have forgotten. However, I’m hoping it will happen in our future, in which case we shall be ready.
“If it be now, 'tis not to come; if it be not to come, it will be now; if it be not now, yet it will come: the readiness is all.” (Hamlet Act V, Scene ii)
Hamlet’s statement passes through so many realms of consciousness that they are impossible to recognize all at once. Hamlet is referring to the concept of time. In order to take on the difficult task of comprehending time one must first take the even more extraordinary task of breaking down time. Time is seen in three forms: time future, time present, and time past. Breaking down these forms individually will help in the understanding of such a fanatical concept. Hopefully, in my contemplation of time I will gain an experience in time.
Time Future:
Time in the future at its most basic element is the symbol of a calendar. It is a tool of measurement that we use to plan our schedule and our activities. Even in its simplicity, time controls our most mundane actions. Every morning we wake to an alarm clock that tells us it’s time to get up and start our day’s activities, which we have planned in advance. Each decision that is made is made with the consideration of time. The act of planning is symbolized in time. This, then, is time future.
The idea of the future is directly connected with time. We decide our work schedule based on our future plans. The process of planning is the process of controlling our time. What is the future if it is not a measurement of time? Simply put, our future is our growing older. When Krishna, in The Bhagavad-Gita says, “I am time grown old,” he is explaining his divinity (pg 103). Krishna’s statement is confusing because of our inability to see time as being old or young or middle aged. Krishna is making a correlation between time and the process of growing old, which is usually thought to be the same thing. By giving himself the name of time, Krishna is showing a control over all things, including aging. Time is consistently placed with the concept of aging. There’s this idea that every second and every minute we grow closer to death. This idea shows the direct correlation between our future and time’s ability to continually progress. This progression gives reasoning to a future. If time did not exist we would not worry about tomorrow.
Take the example of the divine. Krishna tells Arjuna, “even without you, all these warriors arrayed in hostile ranks will cease to exist….They are already killed by me” (Bhagavad-Gita pg 103). To Krishna, time means nothing. The idea of time is useless because it is controlled by him. Even when Arjuna sees ranks of men standing in front of him, Krishna is telling him to realize that they have already died. Arjuna has trouble understanding Krishna’s lesson because of his humanity. Time and its ability to control the future will always be considered by people because we are not the divine and we do not control time’s progression.
Time allows us to appreciate the process of aging. Birthdays celebrate the annual development in our lives each year. There are many things which are brought by the progression of time. There is wisdom, the need for us to learn from our mistakes. Without time’s constant hover, we wouldn’t need to learn or strive to be better. It’s the knowledge that we have a set amount of time to live that makes us correct ourselves and attempt perfection.
There is always that subconscious presence of time future. This is what gives time all its power. Time future is a threat to humanity because of its unpredictability. We are taught to believe that we cannot control time and therefore we willingly make ourselves prisoners to its demands. Hamlet’s phrase, “the readiness is all,” has many different levels of meaning (Hamlet Act V Scene ii). One interpretation is that Hamlet must be ready for the future’s volatility. By not letting the future catch us unaware, we have the ability to, not defeat, but counter time’s fickleness. Hamlet, during this quote, is stuck in a moment of decision. He is deciding if he should fear what is to come, wait in suspense, or make ready? Hamlet’s statement shows that he will prepare for every moment, which allows him to make direction in his future. Hamlet doesn’t give time future the advantage of being unpredictable. This idea leads to time future’s greatest question, a question that must be answered in order to understand time future. Is our future already designed?
“Time destroyer is time the preserver” (T.S. Eliot Four Quartets pg 40). T.S. Eliot gives time many names throughout the Four Quartets. By calling time a preserver, Eliot is giving time the ability to keep something safe. Therefore, the question is, what is time preserving? Eliot’s statement can mean a plethora of thing. Depending on the context, time can be seen as a preserver of the future. Eliot then gives time future another attribution to its many qualities. The future must be looked at differently in order to see it as a preserver. Normally, we see time as being, as mentioned earlier, unpredictable. It’s unpredictable in the sense that we will never know the contents of tomorrow. However, this is not to say that time is not fully unknown. If time is preserving our future, then there are things there to preserve. In which case, our future has already been planned and is waiting for us. Krishna’s statement of, “they are already killed by me,” gives the same concept. Time future exists in a realm of preservation, all is already known. To fully understand time future, we must think of it, not with questions, but with statements (Such as, I am writing my paper and I will get an A). Time future should still exist in our mind as a dark room, but we must fill this room with objects and images of intangible achievements we will obtain. We will know that these objects exist and are present in our dark room even if they cannot be seen.
Time Past
Time as it’s presented in our past should be symbolized as an infinity of things. Every memory we hold, every time we think on a day or a decision, we are envisioning time past. Our memories, therefore, act as images of time past. Time past has the power of being forever present. Our past is used in the actions we make in the present, which will therefore affect our future. Time past must be viewed entirely separate from time future in order to be understood. Our past can never be changed or altered. It is in our memories. We use time past as we use a favorite book. It is there to enjoy in contemplation and it is there to use as a referance. Time past, therefore holds a power over us, not in a way of anxiety, such as time future, but in the way of doubt.
Time past is a ghost. It is a transparent curtain which can never be breached. Our past is constantly time present fading out of our lives forever. Time past is a ghost because it constantly haunts the decisions we make. Time past is all of our memories entwined into one ghostly form which hovers over our shoulder, always ready to interfere. Shakespeare represents time past as Hamlet’s father. “Adieu, adieu! Hamlet, remember me,” the Ghost says to Hamlet (Hamlet Act 1 Scene v). Hamlet responds with:
“Remember thee!
Ay poor ghost, while memory holds seat
In this distracted globe. Remember thee!
Yea, from the table of my memory
I’ll wipe away all trivial fond records” (Hamlet Act 1 Scene v)
Hamlet’s father only asked that his son remember him. This allows Hamlet’s father, a ghost, to forever remain present with Hamlet in the form of a different ghost. By placing himself in Hamlet’s memory, Hamlet will relentlessly be reminded of his father’s words. The power of time past is that it can never be forgotten. Just as the Ghost intended, Hamlet’s present decisions and actions will be based on the past recollection of the memory of his father.
Time past also needs to be recognized as purely subjective. Our memories should never be thought of as facts. The recollection of past events is only how we viewed those events. They can never be replicated. Eliot says,
“This is the use of memory:
For liberation-not less of love but expanding
Of love beyond desire, and so liberation
From the future as well as the past.” (Four Quartets pg 55).
Eliot refers to our memories freeing us from the weight of the future and past, thus saying that our memories and our past are two separate entities. Our past refers to what actually happened to us, our memory is only our perspective on what happened. Once the time we have in the present ceases to exist we store that subjective time period in our memory. These memories are brought to our initial thought whenever there is a similar recurrence. The clearer and less distorted we keep our memories the easier our present decision can become. The difficulty is how we keep those memories as close to truth as possible.
Doubt is the power that time past possesses; doubt is what encompasses our decisions. Every memory, because of its distortion is filled with doubt. Without memory’s falsities we would be left with absolute truth and in truth there cannot be uncertainty. Therefore, our past, not our memory, has the ability to provide us with every right answer and every right direction in our life. It’s the little distortions in our memory that cause our doubt. It’s when we don’t understand the past that we have trouble making the right decisions.
There’s a point in life that we come upon where we should realize that we have experienced everything. Our daily decisions start to become the same question only asked a different way. However, these decisions still take effort and contemplation, although we have already encountered them. We live in a process of reoccurrence. The questions we ask ourselves on a daily basis are the same questions we have asked a thousand times. Why, then, are they still considered questions? If we had the ability to understand our past in its pure essence, then we wouldn’t have any questions. Our lives would not only be simple, but monotonous. We still struggle to answer the same everyday questions because of doubt. I say that time past’s power is in doubt, but it should be understood that the past, itself, cannot control us. Only the past as we know in our memories can have an effect on our present decisions and, therefore, can create doubt in our lives.
Time Present
The basic representation of time present is a clock. The watch, the cell phone, and the clock on the wall we watch everyday to see just what time it is. Time present should also be referred to as the only time. It is the only time that actual events take place. It is in time present that we should place all of ourselves, “all is always now” (Eliot Four Quartets pg 19). However significant it may seem or imperative it may be, the now is forgotten. Time past and time future have overcome time present. We live in a continuous state of doubt and anxiety. We must be reminded to live in the present in order to deprive time of its power.
In The Bhagavad-Gita, Krishna repeats the importance of detachment to Arjuna. In every lesson to Arjuna, Krishna explains the need to become detached and disciplined, “He is said to be matured in discipline when he has renounced all intention and is detached” (Krishna pg 65). Krishna wants Arjuna to separate himself from the world in order to achieve purification. One form of detachment would be from the influence of time. The anxiety and doubt caused by time can be extinguished by separating ourselves from their control. It is impossible to reside in the present state of being while struggling with the pull from the future and past. This is the reason for Krishna’s lesson on discipline, as well as repetition. Even though we cannot entirely forget time future and time past, we should become disciplined to deny their influence. We should not allow them to take away the enjoyment of time present. It is about disciplining ourselves and reminding ourselves of the importance of time present.
Krishna talks of complete detachment; however, in the essence of time, I disagree. We should not entirely separate ourselves from time past and time future. There is a level of detachment that one must achieve in order to focus more clearly on time present, but we should not completely disregard the time which surrounds us. Eliot says, “Only through time time is conquered (Four Quartets pg 16). Eliot is referring to the importance of time present. By living through the now, we become slightly detached from past and present. It is impossible to become completely detached because we live in the decisions of our past and the goals of our future. We need our past and future, we just don’t need them to dominate our thoughts. Through time we can discipline ourselves to evade time’s influence.
Again, it is the importance of discipline which we must place our attention. We cannot simply conquer time by focusing only on the present. There are imperfections we must fix in the way we view our past and future.
If we recognize the anxiety that time future can cause, then we should work to achieve a less anxious life. When Hamlet says, “the readiness is all,” he is announcing the remedy for defeating time future (Hamlet Act V Scene ii). Hamlet, before he has his epiphany, is worried of what time future will bring, “If it be now, tis not to come; if it be not to come, it will be now” (Hamlet Act V Scene ii). He realized that by being prepared for the future he can reduce his anxiety. It is impossible to simply live in the present because the past and future will constantly interfere. We must discipline our past and future.
The way to disciplining the future is to always be ready. This will reduce the anxiety our future can bring us in our present. Being prepared, while living in the present, will reduce our future’s influence. Thus, readiness will make it more possible to live in the now.
Now, for the past. Our only knowledge of the past is in our memories. Our memories are imperfect and this causes doubt in our present state. Reducing the influence of time past is difficult because we can never be certain in our memories. However, it is in our best interest to try. We know that our past gives us every answer; it is our job to correctly remember, “and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive were we started and know the place for the first time” (Four Quartets, pg 57). Eliot’s words suggest that we can only know a place if we return to it. It’s in our inability to remember that causes us to revisit parts of our lives. In order to perfect our memory we must take away all judgment. It is judgment that hinders our ability to remember clearly. Disciplining ourselves to view things with a transparent lens will help in our ability to live in the present.
Time present might be the most essential of times, but it’s the most difficult to attain. One must defeat both time past and time future in order to conquer time present. Eliot says, “Quick now, here, now, always—A condition of complete simplicity” (Four Quartets pg 57). He is making a satirical statement that, to always live in the now is simple; saying that, it’s a condition of life that’s easy to accomplish. He then adds, “(Costing not less than everything),” showing the realistic price of living in the present (Four Quartets pg 57). In order to completely conquer time we must give up everything, our life as we know it.
An experience in time, not only takes time, but is truly a condition of complete frustration. Living in the present, while being ready for the future and not judging the past, is difficult. Gaining the experience of time means we must completely, entirely, and utterly conquer time. The understanding will only come when we finally learn to live wholly in the present. We will reach “the still point of the turning world” at the moment we have our experience (Eliot Four Quartets pg 15). There is no assurance of when our experience might be. It might have already happened and we have forgotten. However, I’m hoping it will happen in our future, in which case we shall be ready.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
My first paragraph
Here is my first paragraph. I would like to know what everyone thinks. And remember, if you don't have anything nice to say, then say it in a nice way. Thanks. P.S. I am to present on Monday....um....so I hope everyone is checking on blogs today. Thanks again.
“If it be now, 'tis not to come; if it be not to come, it will be now; if it be not now, yet it will come: the readiness is all.” (Hamlet Act V, Scene ii)
I learned this semester that to truly understand something one must first pick apart the symbolism. Ferdinand de Saussure believed in semiotics, the idea that every word has symbols attached to its meaning. The concept of time is difficult, to say the least. Time is ancient and also always present. Hamlet’s statement passes through so many realms of consciousness that are impossibly to recognized all at once. In order to take on the difficult task of comprehending time I must first take the even more extraordinary task of breaking down time. Time is seen in three forms: time future, time present, and time past. Breaking down these forms individually will help in the understanding of such a fanatical concept. Hopefully, in my contemplation of time I will gain an experience.
“If it be now, 'tis not to come; if it be not to come, it will be now; if it be not now, yet it will come: the readiness is all.” (Hamlet Act V, Scene ii)
I learned this semester that to truly understand something one must first pick apart the symbolism. Ferdinand de Saussure believed in semiotics, the idea that every word has symbols attached to its meaning. The concept of time is difficult, to say the least. Time is ancient and also always present. Hamlet’s statement passes through so many realms of consciousness that are impossibly to recognized all at once. In order to take on the difficult task of comprehending time I must first take the even more extraordinary task of breaking down time. Time is seen in three forms: time future, time present, and time past. Breaking down these forms individually will help in the understanding of such a fanatical concept. Hopefully, in my contemplation of time I will gain an experience.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Gardener vs. Gravedigger
I was reading Hamlet, Act V, like Sexson said to, and came across a peculiar line. It was said by Clown 1: "Come, my spade. There is no ancient gentlemen but gardeners, ditchers, and grave makers: they hold up Adam's profession."
I was confused by this line, so I looked it up (or googled it) and found that Adam's profession was a gardener in the garden of Eden. This would make great/logical sense, BUT I kept reading and also found that Adam was demoted from that job after he ate the apple, thus the fall of man, ect. Interesting...I think so. What profession was the Clown referring? Was it simply the gardener or Adam's later duty? Well, in Genesis it quotes: "Therefore the LORD God sent him forth from the garden of Eden, to till the ground from whence he was taken."
In order to better understand this line from Genesis I reread, then read again and found an early passage that helped me understand. "Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shalt eat the herb of the field; 19 In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return."
Now, we are getting somewhere. I believe, because Shakespeare was a scenic, that the Clown truly means Adam's second profession. God is saying that Adam's new job is to dig graves. If man is born out of dust, or dirt, and we return to that same dirt later on, in our graves. Then Adam must till the ground that he eventually will end up in. This passage by the Clown is very ironic. Adam's profession changes from a preserver and creator of life, such as a gardener. To the "builder of death." Adam's profession is to build houses for the dead because he is ultimately doomed.
Towards the end of the gravedigger's scene, the first Clown asks a riddle. He asks, "Who builds stronger than a mason, a shipwright, or a carpenter?" The answer is a "grave-maker; the houses that he makes last till doomsday." I think this riddle goes back to the comment earlier. And there ends my question on Adam's profession.
I was confused by this line, so I looked it up (or googled it) and found that Adam's profession was a gardener in the garden of Eden. This would make great/logical sense, BUT I kept reading and also found that Adam was demoted from that job after he ate the apple, thus the fall of man, ect. Interesting...I think so. What profession was the Clown referring? Was it simply the gardener or Adam's later duty? Well, in Genesis it quotes: "Therefore the LORD God sent him forth from the garden of Eden, to till the ground from whence he was taken."
In order to better understand this line from Genesis I reread, then read again and found an early passage that helped me understand. "Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shalt eat the herb of the field; 19 In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return."
Now, we are getting somewhere. I believe, because Shakespeare was a scenic, that the Clown truly means Adam's second profession. God is saying that Adam's new job is to dig graves. If man is born out of dust, or dirt, and we return to that same dirt later on, in our graves. Then Adam must till the ground that he eventually will end up in. This passage by the Clown is very ironic. Adam's profession changes from a preserver and creator of life, such as a gardener. To the "builder of death." Adam's profession is to build houses for the dead because he is ultimately doomed.
Towards the end of the gravedigger's scene, the first Clown asks a riddle. He asks, "Who builds stronger than a mason, a shipwright, or a carpenter?" The answer is a "grave-maker; the houses that he makes last till doomsday." I think this riddle goes back to the comment earlier. And there ends my question on Adam's profession.
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